What can we do about IPV in LGBTQ+ relationships?

Adopt a Transformational Lens 

A transformational perspective on IPV involves recognizing how systemic oppression contributes to and increases the impact of violence (1). From a transformational lens, the focus expands beyond individual situations to consider larger societal patterns of violence impacting groups of people. With this broader perspective, organizations are called upon to address the systems and conditions that contribute to IPV among LGBTQ+ populations and that act as barriers to getting support.

An adapted version of the Power and Control Wheel depicts the forms of systemic oppression impacting LGBTQ+ populations on an additional outside ring. 

Educate Ourselves

Knowing about the unique experiences of IPV and barriers faced by LGBTQ+ people is important to ensure that we are providing support that is effective, inclusive, accessible, and appropriate. The completion of this module is an example of how service providers can become more educated about IPV in LGBTQ+ communities and how to better serve these communities. It is also important to educate ourselves on the specific needs and experiences of LGBTQ+ populations in the communities in which we work. For instance, becoming familiar with the current laws and policies in one’s area can help us to better understand the unique needs of LGBTQ+ populations we aim to support.

Check our Assumptions

Many of the myths outlined in the previous section can lead to taken-for-granted assumptions about IPV, including the forms that it takes, who is impacted, and the best ways to respond. By being aware of our own assumptions and biases we can develop more inclusive ways of thinking and of offering support. Asking ourselves questions such as: “How do I define IPV?” “Does my definition rely upon assumptions about gender or sexual identity?” “How do I view LGBTQ+ relationships?” “Am I assuming the gender or sexuality of the person I am talking to? How about their partner(s)? ” “What honest questions can I ask to help me better understand their unique experiences?” and so on can help to build this awareness, challenge our assumptions, and work toward more inclusive practices.

Be Inclusive and Affirmative

Once we have checked our assumptions to ensure that we are considering the experiences of LGBTQ+ people, it is important that this inclusion is reflected in the ways that we engage with and support people facing IPV.

• Check Our Language: Many of the assumptions about IPV that overlook LGBTQ+ populations show up in common language used in conversations about IPV. A seemingly simple but very important change that we can make is to modify our language to be more inclusive and intentional. 

Throughout this curriculum we regularly use the word “partner”, this term is a useful way to steer clear of gendered assumptions about people and their relationships. Using language such as girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, or spouse pack assumptions about sexual identity and that latter exclude those who are not married due to personal choice or legal barriers.  It is also important to consider how the singular use of the term “partner” might erase the experiences of people who are not in monogamous relationships, rendering them less likely to seek support. Another way to avoid misgendering (wrongly gendering) people is through singular use of the pronoun ‘they’ when speaking in general terms or when their gender pronoun is not yet known.

• Check Our Resources: Any resources that are offered regarding IPV should be inclusive of LGBTQ+ populations. It is recommended to include some resources that are specific to this population. Other resources/paperwork should be revised to ensure that they do not carry assumptions of heterosexuality or cis-identity. For example, resources that are designed for women who are victims of IPV should not include assumptions of a male partner. 

Click here for a free download of LGBTQ+ IPV materials from Futures Without Violence

• Don’t Know? Ask: Rather than relying upon assumptions about gender or sexual identity and related terminology it is best to find out from the person in question. It can sometimes feel uncomfortable to ask these kinds of questions, but we can make the process feel more “normal” by adopting this practice with all of the people we support. By adopting intake paperwork that allows people to self-identify (e.g., an open box “other” option under gender), we can ensure that this information is not assumed or overlooked. Such inclusive practices also signal to LGBTQ+ populations that we are both aware of and accepting of diverse identities and relationships.

Service providers may also ask people what language they use to refer to various body parts, as gender minority individuals may use different anatomical terms that are better aligned with their gender identity. There may be instances where legal documents, such as a person’s identification, differs from the information provided by them (e.g., name/gender). It is important that service providers consistently use the titles provided by the person when possible.

• Promoting Self-Determination: Listen to and privilege the language used and  articulation of their stories and needs. 

Build Awareness

Having educated ourselves on the impacts of IPV in LGBTQ+ communities and how to provide more inclusive and affirmative forms of support  we can then further support LGBTQ+ populations by building awareness and educating others. We can do so by providing information about IPV in LGBTQ+ communities to both LGBTQ+ people themselves, as well as to other service providers. Building awareness can help to bust myths and internalized stigma, increase knowledge about IPV and the unique experiences of LGBTQ+ people, and break down barriers to seeking help. 

Bridge Resources 

Organizations can maintain a list of resources specific to LGBTQ+ populations, such as community organizations, support-groups, or web-based content. This can help to widen the range of available supports to LGBTQ+ people, ensure they are connected to LGBTQ+ friendly services, and can strengthen protective factors such as increasing social support. 

Strengthen Connections

To further strengthen these protective factors, service providers and organizations that address IPV can combat isolation of LGBTQ+  individuals by partnering with LGBTQ+ organizations in the community, creating more opportunities for those experiencing IPV to reach out for assistance.

Beyond partnering with LGBTQ+ organizations, service providers should strive to include sexual and gender minority individuals on staff, as LGBTQ+ people experiencing IPV may be more likely to support from those with similar identities and life experiences (11).

Sources

1. Generation Five (2007). Toward transformative justice: A liberatory approach to child sexual abuse and other forms of intimate and community violence: A call to action for the left and the sexual and domestic violence sectors. Retrieved from: http://www.generationfive.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/G5_Toward_Transformative_Justice-Document.pdf

Module Purpose | IPV in LGBTQ | Key Terms | Common Myths | Barriers | 
Risk & Protective Factors | What We Can Do | Resources